Episode 6

Fuck Imposter Syndrome

"When you're so far ahead of the game, that people don't comprehend it yet, that's a lonely place to be. And that's where feelings of insecurity can creep in. You think, oh, I'm smart enough to be here, but I feel singular. I feel like nobody gets me."

Everyone feels imposter syndrome at some point in their life. And if they say they don't, they're lying (to you or themselves). We break down what we know about imposter syndrome, where it comes from, and our own personal experiences with it. We also share some pop culture representations and some tips for getting past it. Because fuck imposter syndrome. We've got businesses to build.

In this episode: Robyn Sayles, Chris "Jinx" Jenkins, Shea Jeffers

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Referenced in this episode:

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

https://disneyplusoriginals.disney.com/show/the-falcon-and-the-winter-soldier


Armchair Expert: Amy Poehler

https://armchairexpertpod.com/pods/amy-poehler

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Below is a rough transcript for your convenience. It’s not perfect because we want to spend our time unfucking your business, not unfucking this transcript.



This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

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Transcript
Intro:

Hey, this is Kathleen. And when I'm not unfucking businesses here on the podcast, I'm unfucking real estate over at WhyStPete.com. My company is Seide Realty and we are excited to sponsor this episode.

Hey babes. This is Jennifer Madson from badassbabes.com and you're listening to Unfuck My business. No bullshit advice for business owners who want to be resilient as fuck. So buckle up babes. The unfuckery starts now.

Chris 'Jinx' Jenkins:

And we are live with another episode of unfuck my business. I've got my co-host with me today, Robyn and Shea say hello y'all.

Robyn Sayles:

Hello. Y'all.

Shea Jeffers:

Hello Y'all

Chris 'Jinx' Jenkins:

I mean, I guess you get what you ask for. We're talking today about imposter syndrome.

Something that I think a lot of people who are familiar, a lot of people who work in the development space understand this concept intimately, but it really applies to just about anything we do professionally, whether you're working in a large company or. Building a business or you're a creative performer, whatever it is.

There's going to be some moment in time and maybe multiple moments in time when you're going to look around at where you're at and think to yourself, "oh my God, what if they all find out that I have no idea what I'm doing?" And it happens a lot specifically in development because a lot of developers, it's a very autodidactic trade.

You spend a lot of time learning on your own, doing tutorials and building things yourself. And you can potentially get to a place where you are building really great software, but you have no clue how your development skills stand up to other people in the industry or where to rank yourself in the hierarchy of experience, because you've never had a place where you have to either be competitive or collaborative with other people in the space.

And until you have that moment, until you get a chance to level set, you really feel like everyone's maybe wrong about you. You really have no idea what's going on. You don't have any sense of if other people have the same questions and the same worries {pro-tip they do}. And it can be something that, that is a huge source of anxiety, especially when it comes time to present what you're doing to the world.

And so I wanted to talk today a little bit about how entrepreneurs and business owners of all stripes. A, how they can deal with imposter syndrome from a mental perspective of being more confident and capable in the space, but also ways to disrupt imposter syndrome by drawing on from some outside resources to level set, to really give you a sense of where you actually stand in the industry.

Shea, you are an interesting breed of entrepreneur in that you have both the business and marketing side, but also the creative side in mixing music and all the rest of that. I think the creative space, the musical space also has a lot of the imposter syndrome situation because you're working so hard to create things on your own.

But until you get like real feedback from industry peers or other, what may be record labels or something along that line, you don't have a sense of how good you are above and beyond like your friends and family going, "you're great." What kind of imposter syndrome have you dealt with in, in both your business and creative space?

Shea Jeffers:

Imposter syndrome is a next door neighbor that comes over and steals coffee. He doesn't even ask to borrow it. He's just like, "Hey, can I just take that coffee from you? I'll take it today." I have dealt with imposter syndrome in just about everything in one way or the other, whether it was on the entertainment side, creative side, whether it was dancing.

Literally I've done concerts, thousands of people in the stands, yet at the same time asking me to go do what rehearsal or a try out. I'm like, "nah, I ain't going to do it." Or if you mentioned the DJ, the music side of things, it's also a mental game. You have to be mentally... to play music. Otherwise, everything you play sounds like trash.

And you're like, "oh, nothing I'm doing is right." And then the person listening to this "no that transition was just fine." And you're like, "no, it wasn't," in own head. And then on the business side of things, when, as I was coming up in the restaurant industry going from one level to the next level, it was always a level of, "should I be taken to this promotion?" "Should I be running this restaurant?" "Should I be the one training these people on this particular thing?" When I was learning bartending it's, it's all these different things. And even now, as I transitioned into more of a thought leadership perspective in branding, marketing, advertising, it's... I have a whole concept, a whole construct that is it really decodes and demystifies what all these things are for individuals, but at the same time, it's just, I came up with it, so is it good enough for the world? Until I sit down with somebody and I flash trained them on it and they're like, oh, I get it. I know this concept is good. If somebody comes and tells you like, oh yeah, I use one of your concepts and I've tripled business in the last two years, so, okay. So it can really creep up on you.

Chris 'Jinx' Jenkins:

We have this concept in development of peer review, right? Or paraprogramming where you are literally getting your code audited by somebody else, maybe a senior, maybe a partner or something along that line. And I've been on both sides of imposter syndrome. Early on in my career when I was starting to sort of hit my stride, I was thinking that I wasn't good enough for any of these things.

And so when I actually brought some products to market and I successfully completed some contract development and things along that line, things that really proved that there was a market viability to the skill that I have that was sort of reassuring for the imposter syndrome that I had in that moment.

But then a couple of years later, it had been a while since I dealt with code review by someone who was senior to me in skills and all the rest of that. And I went under code review on a project that I was working on and just got my ass torn in two. And it was like, oh man, I thought I was better than this.

There's a couple of different things that can and happen when you're dealing with imposter syndrome. It's not always. That you are good enough and don't know. Sometimes it's more of a Dunning-Kruger thing where you're actually not as good as you think you are. So there's, it definitely touches both sides of the spectrum, Robyn in your business, what are some places where you've dealt with imposter syndrome and how has it affected you?

Robyn Sayles:

Here's where she leans dramatically into the microphone and says, "all... the... time. But I think specifically, I want to talk about in a previous episode in the women in business episode, I talked about the things that women have to think about before they walk into a conference room that most men just don't.

And I think that net casts wider, I think when you're in the box of "other." So if you're a woman, if you're a person of color, if you're a differently abled person, if you're a trans non-binary type of person, there are a lot of us who are in some degree or another of a box called other. And I think all of us, when we walk into a conference room, when we walk into particular settings, there are things that we have to consider.

And we have to think about that, that men and particularly white men don't. And so one of the things that I have to think about, and here's where imposter syndrome starts to rear its ugly head is before I walked through the door. How many of the people on the other side of that door think that I don't belong here just because I'm a woman.

And then do I don't think I belong here, just because I'm a woman. I have to run myself through my own set of skills and experiences and the qualifications and the knowledge and the know how that I'm bringing with me to prove to myself so that I therefore carry the attitude that proves to the others in the room.

I fucking belong here. And so I think anytime you have to run through those questions, anytime you cast doubt on your own abilities, skills, earnings, place. And I think that comes up even sometimes when you've been hand chosen. And so I really, want to talk about at the time that we're recording this, the Falcon and the winter soldier on Disney plus is on episode two.

And I think the Falcon and the winter soldier is doing a great job of dealing with imposter syndrome in a way that makes it a little more approachable for people and maybe gets them to question things. So they are two episodes in at the time that we're recording this. And the sort of running question is why Sam Falcon did not take up the mantle of Captain America.

Steve Rogers literally handed him the shield and said, it's yours. He was chosen by the existing Captain America to be the next Captain America. And I just, I can't imagine the enormous amount of pressure. Being a black man in America being handed that shield and going, I can't do this. And even though he was hand chosen, felt like it wasn't his to have and felt like it belonged with Steve.

And it belonged in a place where people could observe it and felt like it was the right thing for him to do, to continue to be Falcon and not take up that shield. And so then by episode two, the government turns around and gives the shield to a white man. And it stirs up a lot of shit and it stirs up a lot of shit between Bucky and Sam and Bucky's dealing with his own stuff and he's dealing with his own imposter syndrome.

And should he even be allowed to have the freedom that he currently now gets to experience? And he says to Sam, if I don't understand why you didn't do it because Steve chose you and maybe Steve was wrong about you. And if Steve was wrong about you, that means Steve was wrong about me. And so like the idea of imposter syndrome can run really deep in people, and there can be so many internal and external factors at play and in competition and working together behind the scenes in ways that we can't even comprehend until we stop and go. W"ait. Why do I feel like I don't belong in this room? And is that coming from inside or is that coming from outside?" And then let's go through why I feel like this is coming from the outside or why I feel like this is coming from the inside. So that's such a topical tangible example, and I'm really interested to see where they take that storyline.

And what's going to be the turning point that allows Sam to let go of that imposter syndrome and really step into that role. Let's such an accessible example that people can go listen to this episode and then go watch and go, "oh, whoa, that's the impact of it." And I always try to let people know that everybody at every station at every level of experience at every level of achievement and everybody feels less than ... like a fraud, like at any minute, the rug is going to get pulled out from under them. "Somebody is going to figure out that I don't belong here."

Actors. Dignitaries. Presidents. Elon, well, maybe not Elon Musk, because I think that guy thinks he owns the world and has rights to it. Even people at the highest echelons have moments where they walk into your room and feel like they don't belong. So I went down a rabbit hole because this is super, obviously I'm super passionate about this, but I think small moments, those small moments where we feel like, Ooh, should I be here?

Do you know, does anybody care what I have to say? If you don't examine those, they lead to the bigger moments, like not taking the shield.

Shea Jeffers:

I believe a part of that kind of helps to break that imposter syndrome of feeling or energy is the unknown and that, and that's why we can say that's why we can competently say everybody feels imposter syndrome.

Because eventually, if you are pushing the barriers of what you're doing, if you are leading the pack, if you are trying new things, you're going to run into the unknown. And then that lack of that uncertainty imposter syndrome. And it's really up to us to, to, to not let our, not let it overcome us and understand that it's an opportunity to be even more creative or be even more of a leader than instead of just letting it wash over us.

Robyn Sayles:

I'm I was just going to say the point about being ahead. A lot of times imposter syndrome does bend when you're innovating or changing or doing things different or ahead of the pack. And having worked with and observed the careers of people who are not just on the leading edge, but like on the bleeding edge of something.

When you're so far ahead of the game, that people don't comprehend it yet. That's a lonely place to be. That's a lonely place to be. And that's where feelings of insecurity can creep in. So Shea, thank you for sharing that. Cause I think, oh, you're smart enough to be here, but I feel singular. I feel like nobody gets me.

That's a different element to imposter syndrome, which is really interesting. I'm glad you brought that up.

Chris 'Jinx' Jenkins:

One of the things that I think we see on a regular basis is that what we see of business owners in general is the social media side. It's the public side, it's all the good things that are happening.

And we know in our own lives where all the stress points are, the struggles that we're facing, the obstacles that we're dealing with, all the bad things that are happening. And we forget that other people. Also have their own struggles and negatives and bad things happening in their life. And that we just don't see it and that they are, are not seeing ours.

They're only seeing the good stuff that we're putting out as well. And so we run into this place where everyone is running around, trying to always have their best face on full word, always feeling like they're a fraud in the moment because oh, my first time standing on stage and talking to a bunch of people, I was not by any measure a financial success. At that point, I was just on the way and I was doing some things well, and those things that I was doing well were the things that people wanted to hear about. They wanted to hear me talk about those things. They wanted to hear my proposed solutions and how the strategies that I was bringing to the marketplace and stuff along that line.

It didn't matter in the moment that I had all these other negative things that were making me feel like an imposter in the space. All of that was irrelevent. They were there for the things that I was doing. And so like, that's, I think that's one of the things that you have to take on board when you're in that space of, oh my God, I'm being called on to perform this role, or I'm being called on to talk about these topics or any of the rest of that.

You're being called on because you've done those things. Yes. You have a sense of, oh God, everyone's going to think that I'm bigger than what I am. And I'm actually a failure, you know, that sort of mental thing that we wrestle with. But if you weren't doing at least some of it, you wouldn't be in the position to be called upon anyways.

So I think that's one of the first things that we have to take on board. But then the second half of that is we deal with imposter syndrome in development with code review and with pair programming. The ability to actually get out into the marketplace and get some good feedback is one of the easiest ways to sort of level set and to do that, you have to go find other people who are in your space and have some open, honest conversations.

I generally recommend do it at a bar, get some cocktails going, cause that's yes, you might end up in tears at some point in the conversation, but you know, at least it'll be honest. Get into a place where you find some other people who are maybe not your competitors, cause that can be uncomfortable, but you know, other business owners at the same tier of business or the same scale of business as you are, and really start having those conversations.

And we talked about like networking groups, for instance, I'm not a fan of, I'm not going to call them out by name, but let's just say networking groups that are focused on generating leads. Versus networking groups that are about business owners coming together and networking groups that are focused on coming together and really like sharing what it's like to be in business, sharing problems, sharing solutions, all the rest of that.

If you can find yourself. A good networking group that is really about a shared collective business experience and some open and honest conversations and the ability to get feedback and give feedback in what's hopefully a constructive fashion. It can be game changing to your own sense of achieving self-confidence about where you're at, because the biggest problem with imposter syndrome is not that you suck it's that you don't know.

And even if you find out that you suck, at least there's some level of competence that comes with that. When I got that really scathing code review that I went through after a time when I was already cocky about what kind of a developer I was, that was painful, but it also gave me a solid level set. I had some, I had a foundation of things to look at.

I had some areas to improve and I had a clear understanding of what I needed to do to get better. And that's far better than just not knowing

Robyn Sayles:

A thousand percent agree. In my corporate days, I joined a professional development organization for training and development, and the biggest way it served me was by being involved in those chapter meetings and answering questions and realizing, oh, I do know what I'm talking about.

Because when you're in your own little world, when you're the one trainer for your organization, you are in your little bubble and you think you're doing good. Nobody's telling you, you suck. But like you said, Jinx, you don't know. And so you go to the right. Groups and somebody else answers a question and you're like, oh, that's what I was going to say.

Okay, good. So then I'm on track and then you answer a question everyone's all on. It's a really good answer. And you're like, okay. I would walk away from those chapter meetings going, okay, I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing. And then it got to the point where I would walk out of those chapter meetings ago "oh I'm good at this. I really am good at this." And so even if it's just the "whew, okay. I do know what I'm talking about." That's tremendously beneficial. And there aren't enough of those spaces for entrepreneurs. And for small business owners, we talked about the loneliness factor when you're out there running the business and wearing all the hats and making all the decisions. And if you don't feel like getting out of bed business, doesn't get done today.

You need someone. There too to bounce ideas off of, to check in with, to maybe have some accountability in some cases. But if you just continue to operate in a vacuum, how can you possibly judge? Like it's not even fair to consider yourself a fraud.

You don't know, you literally have nothing parent too, because you're not interacting with anybody else. And you're not talking to anybody else about these things. Those groups. Networking peer groups, collect your own little board of advisors. Come hang out with us on our Facebook group and our Tuesday night calls, hint, hint, nudge, nudge, like having a group like that, where you can check in and go, "oh, I do know what I'm doing. I am on the right track. That was a smart decision for me to make" ...the comradery and the validation. Is tremendous, especially when you're operating in this sort of solo vacuum, it can have a huge impact.

Chris 'Jinx' Jenkins:

A lot of folks who they'll come to meetings or they're come to networking groups or things along that line, and they want to talk about things. They want to ask these questions, but they're so worried about the answers, I think sometimes, and then maybe they'll breach into it and then you start seeing them get really antsy as some of the feedback starts coming in. One of the things that if you're suffering from imposter syndrome, The very, very first thing that you need to do is put on your thickest skin because to get to that sense of confidence to level set appropriately you're might have to take some constructive criticism on the chin and maybe it doesn't even always sound constructive.

It may sound like you're being attacked. I've certainly seen some people not respond well to what was legitimate, good business advice about some mistakes that they were making in their strategy and some poor assumptions, essentially. I think that's part of the equation when we're operating without good data.

We're operating on assumptions. Assumptions about what we're capable of bringing to the marketplace and to get past that imposter syndrome, you have to be willing to face the fire of the forge, so to speak. And you've got to bring your thick skin to the table. If you're not open to the feedback, you're never going to get the confidence that comes from having a good sense of exactly where you are.

Robyn Sayles:

And you know what? I just thought of an analogy. Oh, like gym people, for sure. So if you're a gym rat, you'll totally be in sync with this, but I don't think you need to be a gym rat runner. Dancers, even if dancing all night at a club, but some sort of physical activity where the next day you're like, oh, I'm so sore.

But like you enjoy it because that soreness, that pain came from working at something really hard, surviving something going through something you come out of the other end going, you know, getting a tattoo is similar. It fucking hurts the whole time you're getting it done. And then there's this endorphin rush where you're like, I did it.

I survived the pain. I got this amazing piece of art. I danced all night and I'm still alive. I ran a marathon. And I didn't die. I did that horrible circuit workout at the gym and I made it, I was able to lift the pounds, whatever it is. So you're experiencing pain, but you're glad for it because of the accomplishment.

I think getting that peer feedback and that business feedback on things. It's very similar. I think of the time that I went to a local networking group that the three of us are familiar with and they do these business card breakdowns and my business card breakdown was fucking brutal. Like it hurt. But I learned so much and I was able to immediately make my business card better and make, make it be very clear what it was that I was doing.

I learned so much from that and I'm still applying what I learned in that brutal business card breakdown. And so it's that same kind of thing. It's like when, when you perform some maneuver and you've got this big bruise and people are like, oh, did that hurt? And you're like, yeah, I did. And you're like, proud of it.

Shea Jeffers:

Definitely. I think the willingness to be in those hot seats in those spotlight moments is critical or addressing the imposter syndrome and also being willing to have a dignified way of saying, I don't know.

Now I specifically added dignified to that because you don't necessarily want it to just be like, I don't know anything, but you want to have something a way in, I don't know. Help me. Share with me. For those moments and that alone, that willingness alone can help diminish the level of imposter syndrome that you have, because that gets rid of all of those.

I think you mentioned it last time, all those Phantom demands that we may have upon ourselves, wherever we like. Well, I have to be consistent in this area as to be consistently the best or consistently knowledgeable in this area. And you don't that willingness to deep breath and see. I needed maybe.

Correct. I did a little bit more research that can be done in this area. Do you know of a resource? All block can help really bring the levels down a little bit for you. Yeah.

Chris 'Jinx' Jenkins:

Yeah, that's a really great point in that the whole point of trying to get feedback and all the rest of that, being able to do it gracefully is certainly part of the equation.

And we've seen the impacts of people not able to do that gracefully. I think that those are certainly the moments of learning when we get asked that question that we don't know the answer to. That's where we really start to flesh out. Okay. Here's what the breadth of my knowledge actually is. And here's what it isn't.

And then we are able to move forward and improve from it. And so you've got to the balance of dealing with imposter syndrome is that you have to maintain enough confidence to keep moving forward, even when you don't know, but you also have to get these check-ins wherever possible to get some good data about how you're actually doing.

And so much of what we do as entrepreneurs we do on our own. And so we don't always have that entrepreneurial realism is, or can be a very lonely life when you're the one struggling to make that business. And I think that another misconception about imposter syndrome is that you hit some point in your career where you just don't have that anymore.

I know Robyn, you had an example of somebody who's generally famous, who still runs into that issue.

Robyn Sayles:

A hundred percent. I recently listened to an episode of armchair expert with Dax Shepard, and he interviewed Amy Poehler who. From the outside has achieved the height of what a female comedian could achieve.

She co anchored the news on SNL and has hosted the golden Globes and has been in huge box office, movie hits and has written and directed and literally rubbed elbows with presidents, all these things that you can imagine. And the interesting point that she and Dax were talking about, and we've touched on mindset.

Both had humble beginnings. And I think sometimes our experience as children will color the mindsets that we take far into adulthood. So no matter what we achieve. And so the thing that the two of them were talking about is it doesn't matter what they've achieved. It doesn't matter how many awards and accolades they get.

They always continue to think of themselves as scrap. And they still have this sort of scrappy attitude. And they even admitted, which I thought was so refreshing. They both talked about how they actually still judge others within their space. Oh, must be nice. Look at you fancy this fancy that, but like sometimes you can't unlearn that and that's a part of the imposter syndrome.

That's part of what colors, their particular experiences. They can't unsee themselves as the scrappy underdog. Even being in these incredibly privileged and experienced places that they're at they've achieved, both of them have achieved pretty much everything they've ever wanted to achieve. And yet they still see themselves as these scrappy underdog.

And you have to wonder what I found myself, wondering as I was listening to that is what else could they have done? How much farther could they go? How much bigger could their impact be if they could get out of their own ways and stop seeing themselves as the scrappy, underdog in every situation. And so I think that plays a part of it as well.

So that, that made me question things as well. It also, it's a great episode to listen to we'll link it in the show notes. It's a great episode to listen to, if you just want some real, honest and hilarious relatable discussion around no matter who you are, and no matter where you are, imposter syndrome always creeps back in.

And sometimes the way it creeps back in is not what you're expecting.

Chris 'Jinx' Jenkins:

Like I'm just a little bit mind blown right now. Cause I realized that I absolutely still have that sense of being the scrappy underdog. When realistically that is not true, but I do. And it's, it's funny that you mentioned having a, maybe a financially challenged upbringing creates that sort of sense of always being behind and always comparing how financially stable you feel in the moment compared to what it looks like.

Everybody else's, especially people maybe who were younger than you, but wow. I've just had my own kind of epiphany. I'm not a scrappy underdog anymore. And yet I still totally have that sense of it's me against the man. I am the man. Wow. I'm going to have to parse that for a second or two. I think

Robyn Sayles:

there was this guy that I was friends with in my early career back when I was still in journalism.

And, uh, and he traveled around and took internships all over the place. We became fast friends while he was working at the same paper that I was working at, down in Fort Lauderdale. And then he moved to Newport news, Virginia, imagine the culture shock. And this was in the early nineties. And so we became pen pals, and we had this like where we actually hand wrote letters and stamped and put them in the mail.

And I still have a lot of them, but I went to visit him once and. Afterwards, he wrote this whole big long thing. And there's this one quote that he wrote in that letter that has stuck with me my whole life. And he talked about the feeling when something is about to be over and you simultaneously want to speed up to get to the end and then also want to slow down and don't ever want to get there, like when you're on the last chapter of a book and he said, all great heroes, once they foiled the foe.

Are left with this moment of now what? And so I think to, to the point of your apifany, right? Like when you have the realization of, oh, I'm not the scrappy underdog, I'm not fighting the man. I am the man. Now what the pho has been vanquished to the quest is over the book has completed its Ferris Bueller at the end of the movie.

What are you still doing here? Go home. We have to look at that thing within us, that thought of us in a particular way that we no longer are and go, okay, well, what do I do with you now? How do I channel this in a way that. Is productive and gets me to the next place I want to be at. It's an interesting concept.

It's an interesting place to be.

Chris 'Jinx' Jenkins:

Yeah. And then I guess that's when we clear that stage of imposter syndrome, the what's next, maybe the what's next is the journey up to that next plateau of imposter syndrome where it's like, Hey, wait a second. Yeah, I don't think I know what I'm doing again and yet everybody's still keeps listening.

Right? And I know that in specifically with me, I've dealt with it from a development perspective, I've dealt with it from a business leadership perspective and more and more as a, as I've started to become more involved in like community causes and all the rest of that. I've dealt with it from a moral perspective, but who am I to tell people how the world should run based on who I am in my own head.

So it really just, it just manifests across so many different fronts. It's a multifaceted thing.

Shea Jeffers:

Yeah. And as you jumped from plateau plateau, It's one of those things where you have to remind me, remind yourself that your message or your content, whatever you're producing, whatever you are, whatever you're developing.

There's so much people in the world that you can't do it for everybody. You have your, whatever you put out is going to get tough by who needs to hear it the most. And so continue to put yourself out there, continue to, to, to level up because the more that you read. Or because you're an imposter in a scenario, the more likely you are, you're going to disappoint somebody who needs your being your presence in an area.

You, when we challenge ourselves, okay, should I be in this room? Can we talk about this a little bit earlier? Should you be in the room? Should you be in this position as why? Because somebody chose you and said, Hey, come be in this. Now, even if you have to push yourself into that space, who should be there because somebody needs to hear you cause somebody needs to do to engage you.

But there's the little nugget of information, that little nugget of inspiration that you may be ate just by being, just by being present. And it's just things that you got to maintain within yourself.

Robyn Sayles:

I love it. And I think. Understanding that as you chase that next level, get to that next level of imposter syndrome.

The audience, the circumference gets smaller and smaller and we get more focused and we have to shift our own expectations. So as a former actor, an improv comedian, there is no moment like the moment when a joke lands on the audio. The abrupt laughter and the spontaneous applause that occurs when a well-timed joke hits the audience just right.

And you get that pristine moment of reaction. It's narcotics straight into the room. I imagine there is no moment like it, but if I lived my life. Always chasing that moment, I would be miserable. So the goal is to know that even when the joke doesn't land perfectly, and I don't get that pristine reaction from the audience, that doesn't mean I failed.

That doesn't mean it wasn't good. That doesn't mean I shouldn't keep doing it. And so if I was only ever chasing after that perfect reaction from a perfect joke landing on the audience, I would always feel like an impostor. You can't go chasing the highs because if that's your bar, if the bar is only those tippy top peak moments, then everything underneath that is going to feel like a failure.

And so understanding that there are peaks and valleys and highs and lows and looking for the joy and the accomplishment in all of the ways up and all of the ways down and having the foresight. I think if we think about. Shea's idea of like strategic thinking, going forward to, to mitigate these imposter syndrome moments.

Even if you're on a downward peak, you're going to go back up again, right? It's a constant it's cyclical. However you want to look at it. If I'm on the low now, it just means I'm getting ready to ramp back up again for something else when we can stay focused on that forward vision. And remember that every moment is getting us to the next thing.

I may not be. The scrappy underdog anymore. I may not be fighting the man anymore. I may be the man, but what am I challenging? And how am I moving this forward? So staying focused on that forward vision and enjoying all the moments up and down along the way. I know it helps me and I think it'll help. A lot of people help to mitigate those moments of imposter syndrome.

Panic.

Chris 'Jinx' Jenkins:

First of all, everyone has imposter syndrome. So just by yourself, Check you get to make on your little list of getting past. It is understanding that everybody goes through this. At some point, some people go through a repeatedly and for some people it just never ends. Imposter syndrome is something that can be there and be present through your entire career.

No matter what level you've achieved at this point, getting to a place where we can control. That imposter syndrome effect on us. Cause that's the problem, right? Is that it, it drives anxiety. It affects our performance. It makes us worry to present our accomplishments and our achievements. It takes away from the sense of ownership and pride, because we're so worried about that outside perspective.

So getting past those effects. Really involves trying as much as possible to find peers in the business space to have open and honest conversations with really get some feedback on your business, your creation, your code, your art, whatever it is that you're working on. Then see, having that thick skin standing that this is the, this is what you do to get better, to understand both where you are level-set currently, but also to hopefully get some constructive criticism that guides you to greater growth.

And then D to understand that sometimes there are some outside social structures, the whole captain America analogy that contribute to that sense of imposter syndrome and recognizing that, and then pushing your way past those things. I really hope that we do see Sam end up taking the shield himself as time goes on.

I think that's a, that's all for this episode. I would love to hear here's some more in the community about how y'all have dealt with imposter syndrome and what things you do to help get past that. And if you're dealing with imposter syndrome right now, then Hey, bring that to our Tuesday night community calls and let's talk about it.

Let's see where you're at. But from me, Robyn and Shea and the rest of us here at on fuck my business. That's all. And we'll see you next Tuesday.

Kaplan Akincilar:

and that's when Robyn put on the Stormtrooper helmet and started, what are you doing? What the fuck are you waiting for? Just take what you learned in this episode. Get out there and do something. No, like the links are in the show. Notes, links and resources that we talked about in this episode are in the show notes, go to unfuck my business.com.

Subscribe to the show, get all of the cool shit that we're doing. But this is like, this is us time now.

About the Podcast

Show artwork for Unf*ck My Business
Unf*ck My Business
No bullshit advice for business owners who want to be resilient AF.

About your hosts

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Robyn Sayles

HOST | SHOW RUNNER
Twitter + IG: @robynsayles
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Chris 'Jinx' Jenkins

HOST
Twitter: @immrdubious

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